The New York Times reports, “Maxine Waters’ Image Found On ‘Shroud’ at Motel 6.” Or maybe, not so much. It was actually sheets that the image was found on, and, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Waters’ excessive makeup simply ‘silk-screened’ itself onto the sheet after an overnight of face sleeping. Experts say that proper personal hygiene could help prevent such transfers in the future.
With earthquakes at historic levels, the State of Oklahoma wants you to know when the next “Big One” happens. You can pick up your free “Earthquake Detection Device” at any State or Local government office. Some assembly will be required.
Not only will your iPhone X turn your face into a ‘poop emoji’, which is Apple’s way of telling you that you paid way, way too much for that phone, but you can also take care of all of your kitchen tasks with this new accessory.
Mr. Trump announced that since he’s been such a ‘yuuugely‘ successful President, that after he retires from office, he might consider doing the same for the English Monarchy. He’s was heard saying, “At least I’d be close to some of my great Golf Properties so I wouldn’t have to stay at that Buckingham Palace dump.”
Anyone that can lip-read Russian knows that Vlad, “The Influencer”, Putin, just told President Donald Trump the punch line for his little joke on #CrookedHillary.
Maddow explained that MSNBC staff interns had attempted to contact a Mr. V. Lenin and Mr. J. Stalin, both purportedly important Russian Officials shown here posing with President Donald J. Trump. It’s possible these were the very Russian Officials who ‘allegedly’ (the lawyers made us say that, but you all know the real truth) colluded with Trump during the 2016 Election cycle. The Trump White House refused to answer any inquiries regarding this proof of potential collusion.
From Left to Right – V. Lenin, D. Trump, and J. Stalin colluding to steal the Election from Hillary Clinton and the Democrats.
MSNBC host Rachel Maddow gave a “heads up” to other news organizations on Thursday after she was sent what she believes are faked National Security Agency documents alleging collusion between a member of the Trump campaign and Russian government.
“Somebody, for some reason, appears to be shopping a fairly convincing fake NSA document that purports to directly implicate somebody from the Trump campaign in working with the Russians in their attack in the election,” Maddow said in a lengthy segment on her show.
FakeNews CNN premiered their new mobile “News Station” at the Coos Bay, Oregon 4th of July/Northern Spotted Owl Lives Combined Celebratory Event. CNN’s President, Jeff Zucker, wanted to field test some new slogans with some low information, uncritical, lefty Liberal viewers before unveiling them prime time. Amongst the contenders, “Our News Wipes Fox New’s Ass”, “All the News That’s Fit For the Crapper”, and Jeff’s very ownliest favorite, “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die.”
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“Cop Beats Unarmed Black man.” – CNN
Spotted Owl Lives Combined Celebratory Event. CNN’s President, Jeff Zucker, wanted to field test some new slogans with some low information, uncritical, lefty Liberal viewers before unveiling them prime time. Amongst the contenders, “Our News Wipes Fox New’s Ass”, “All the News That’s Fit For the Crapper”, and Jeff’s very ownliest favorite, “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die.”
