Maxine Waters Face-prints Sheets

The New York Times reports, “Maxine Waters’ Image Found On ‘Shroud’ at Motel 6.”  Or maybe, not so much.  It was actually sheets that the image was found on, and, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Waters’ excessive makeup simply ‘silk-screened’ itself onto the sheet after an overnight of face sleeping.  Experts say that proper personal hygiene could help prevent such transfers in the future.

**FakeNewsAlert**

h/t-Diogenes’ Middle Finger

Okie Earthquake Detection Kit

With earthquakes at historic levels, the State of Oklahoma wants you to know when the next “Big One” happens.  You can pick up your free “Earthquake Detection Device” at any State or Local government office.  Some assembly will be required.

**FakeNewsYouCouldFallForBecauseOfYourPreconceivedElitistOpinionOfOklahomans

Apple Announces iPhone X Accessories

Not only will your iPhone X turn your face into a ‘poop emoji’, which is Apple’s way of telling you that you paid way, way too much for that phone, but you can also take care of all of your kitchen tasks with this new accessory.

**FakeNews Alert

Donald Trump Announces His Post-Presidential Plans

Mr. Trump announced that since he’s been such a ‘yuuugely‘ successful President, that after he retires from office, he might consider doing the same for the English Monarchy.  He’s was heard saying, “At least I’d be close to some of my great Golf Properties so I wouldn’t have to stay at that Buckingham Palace dump.”

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**FakeNewsAlert

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FakeNews – Headline Writing for Dummies

Match the Headline to the News Organization.

“Cop Beats Unarmed Black man.”  – CNN

“Cop Watches While Partner Beats Unarmed Black man” – Washington Post

“Cop Cheers Partner While He Beats and Humiliates Unarmed Black man.” – New York Times

“Racist Cop Watches Partner Beat and Humiliate Young Unarmed Black man While His Hands Were Clasped in Prayer. – Politico

 

Rachel Maddow Sent Trump-Russia Collusion Docs??

The Daily Caller reports that “Someone Sent Rachel Maddow Fake NSA Documents Alleging Trump-Russia Collusion.

Maddow explained that MSNBC staff interns had attempted to contact a Mr. V. Lenin and Mr. J. Stalin, both purportedly important Russian Officials shown here posing with President Donald J. Trump.  It’s possible these were the very Russian Officials who ‘allegedly’ (the lawyers made us say that, but you all know the real truth) colluded with Trump during the 2016 Election cycle.  The Trump White House refused to answer any inquiries regarding this proof of potential collusion.

From Left to Right – V. Lenin, D. Trump, and J. Stalin colluding to steal the Election from Hillary Clinton and the Democrats.

MSNBC host Rachel Maddow gave a “heads up” to other news organizations on Thursday after she was sent what she believes are faked National Security Agency documents alleging collusion between a member of the Trump campaign and Russian government.

“Somebody, for some reason, appears to be shopping a fairly convincing fake NSA document that purports to directly implicate somebody from the Trump campaign in working with the Russians in their attack in the election,” Maddow said in a lengthy segment on her show.

**FakeNewsAlert**

FakeNews CNN – All the News That’s Fit For the Crapper

FakeNews CNN premiered their new mobile “News Station” at the Coos Bay, Oregon 4th of July/Northern Spotted Owl Lives Combined Celebratory Event.  CNN’s President, Jeff Zucker, wanted to field test some new slogans with some low information, uncritical, lefty Liberal viewers before unveiling them prime time.  Amongst the contenders,  “Our News Wipes Fox New’s Ass”, “All the News That’s Fit For the Crapper”, and Jeff’s very ownliest favorite, “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die.”