“We’re All Gonna Die”

You’re Gonna Need Your New California Conceal Carry License

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It’s called the CCSC License (California Concealed Straw Carry), and you can bet your sippy-cup it will be tough bitch to get.

Near future Shithole – like This Afternoon

Normally it’s a crime to carry either a ‘full or an empty’ straw in public in California. It doesn’t matter whether you are carrying a concealed straw or one that is openly carried or displayed in a beverage.

Unless you have a CCSC (California Concealed Straw Carry) license, publicly carrying a straw in California is against the law… period.

But you may be issued a permit to carry “a straw, flexible or fixed, or other flexible sipping impliment capable of being concealed upon the person” if:

  • You are of good moral character;
  • Good cause exists for issuance of the license because you or a member of your family has an unquenchable thirst;
  • You meet certain residency requirements; and
  • You have completed an acceptable course of straw, and straw sipping techniques training.

And don’t forget your $Million $Dollar Humane Safe Straw Storage and Disposal Guarantee Bond. Don’t leave home without it.

**Thanks Anon in MT

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Responsible For The Extinction Of Donkeys

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Perhaps hyperbole?  Perhaps premature?  Perhaps not.  If Ms. Ocasio-Cortez has her way and “Makes America Venezuela”, then our donkeys and burros could be going the way of Venezuela’s.  The Miami Herald writes, “Donkey herds are dwindling as hungry Venezuelans slaughter them for food“.

A few years ago, there were so many donkeys, or burros, in the Venezuelan state of Falcón that they were a problem — herds everywhere, causing highway crashes and blocking airport runways.

But over the past three years, the herds have shrunk dramatically as thousands of burros have been slaughtered for their meat by Venezuelans suffering through a near-famine.

“There’s no more burros here,” said Odalys Martinez, a resident of the Paraguana Peninsula in northern Falcón.

Here are a few more Democratic Donkeys that we hope Ms. Alexandria will lay to rest…

Crazy In California – Hi-Capacity Assault Straw Dispensers Banned

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First they said “You can’t go to Oklahoma (and 8 other states)“, then they came for your plastic bags and your tasty foie gras, they banished your pet gerbil , neutered your firearms,  and now, insult to injury, they’re gonna put you in jail for using an ‘effing straw!!!  Get out while you can!  Err… on second thought, don’t.  No sense giving you the chance to screw up someone else’s state.

**Thanks Anon in MT