“We’re All Gonna Die”

FakeNews CNN Goes ‘Into the Breach’ Of Climate Change

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Breitbart reports that FakeNews CNN’s  “Move to Hudson Yards Proves CNN Knows Global Warming’s a Hoax.”

If CNN believes Global Warming is a real and an imminent threat, why did the far-left network agree to move much of its broadcasting operations to a location … right on the water?

Outside of the basement-rated outlet axing more than a hundred jobs on Monday, the big media news this week is CNN’s move to Hudson Yards, which sits right on the coast, right on the Hudson River.

In other words,  CNN has moved to the water’s edge of Manhattan, the very same Manhattan that will be underwater as soon as 2015.

Oops, sorry, that was an old scientific prediction. Obviously, 2015 has passed without Manhattan flooding.

But Manhattan will be underwater as soon as 2018, which can only mean that–

Oh. Sorry again, that was another prediction our global warming scientific experts got wrong. But soon, very soon Manhattan will be underwater because the scientists CNN takes very, very seriously say so.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Adopting UN Cow Fart Unit-CFU Standards

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The Hill reports, “Ocasio-Cortez explains ‘farting cows’ comment: ‘We’ve got to address factory farming’.”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) sought to explain a recent document from her office that linked “farting cows” to climate change, saying that serious climate policy needs to address agriculture.

A set of frequently asked questions released by her office this month as part of the rollout of her “Green New Deal” proposal to fight climate change mentioned cow flatulence as a problem, but her staff later denounced the document.

Ocasio-Cortez didn’t directly defend the statement in an interview that aired late Thursday on Showtime’s “Desus & Mero,” but said that climate policy might need to look into reducing greenhouse gas emissions from agriculture.

AOC’s Climate Solution: Fix Cow Farts

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ Newest Cause Célèbre

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Forget the “Green New Deal” or “Medicare For All”, the Left’s Democratic-Socialist darling, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, says that the continuing un-Controlled and un-Taxed manufacture of Lava Lamps will cause the extinction of Volcanoes within the next 12 years. Send money….

Schrödinger’s Cat Seen Plotting A New Quantum Mechanics Experiment

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Your murder and disappearance.

The new theory being that if kitty murders you, you will not be able to put him in a box with poison, therefore he will be simultaneously alive while you, most regrettably, and most demonstrably,  are very dead.

Schrödinger’s Cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. … The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead.

Keith Richards RIP Update – You Gotta Take Care Of Yourself Mick

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From CNN, “Mick Jagger doing well after heart valve replacement”.

Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger is recovering after a heart valve replacement procedure.

“Mick Jagger has successfully undergone treatment. He is doing very well and is expected to make a full recovery,” a representative for Jagger said in a statement to CNN.

A source close to the band told CNN earlier this week that Jagger was being treated to replace a valve in his heart, but a representative for the singer declined to elaborate.

Polar Bears React To Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ Prediction that “We’re All Gonna Die In 12 Years”

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RealClearPolitics reports this Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “laffer” from Lefty Field from Ocasio-Cortez: “The World Is Going To End In 12 Years If We Don’t Address Climate Change.”  Well, Alexandria.  What do the polar bears think about your prediction?  After all, it sounds pretty dire saying “we’re all gonna die.”

Millennials and people, you know, Gen Z and all these folks that will come after us are looking up and we’re like: The world is going to end in 12 years if we don’t address climate change and your biggest issue is how are we gonna pay for it?” Ocasio-Cortez told Coates. “This is the war — this is our World War II.

In fact, the bears think that if things are so ‘effing dire that we’re all gonna die,  we might as well have some penguin on the ‘Barbie’, listen to some tunes, and catch a couple of cold brewskis.