/sarc ‘n /snark

CNN Blames Trump For Coronavirus Death

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CNN’s Jim Acosta reports, “It’s obvious to anyone that doesn’t wear a Red MAGA Hat, that if Trump hadn’t colluded with the Russians to cheat Hillary Clinton out of her inheritance and get elected President, his tweets wouldn’t have goaded the steamroller into attacking it’s operator and, thus, giving him a fatal case of Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus–one that couldn’t be cured by that fish tank cleaner, hydroxy…something or other, drug that Trump has been pushing… the very same one that he’s making money off of.”

**/sarc ‘n /snark

Creepy Joe Biden Has A Creepy New COVID-19 Mask

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Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People’s Hair

The Babylon Bee–Joe Biden has committed to wearing a mask in public to be a good example and to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Aides were disappointed and a little frightened, however, when Biden immediately cut a large hole in the middle of the mask so he could continue to invade people’s personal space and sniff their hair, necks, and faces.

Staffers usually don’t let Biden play with sharp objects, but he managed to find some safety scissors stashed behind the Metamucil in his campaign bus. Using the purple plastic scissors, he cut a large hole and then fitted the mask to his face, confident that he was protecting himself and others from the virus.

The Babylon Bee takes /sarc ‘n /snark to a whole ‘nuther level.

Breaking News… John Travolta Hospitalized

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John Travolta was hospitalized Saturday for a suspected COVID-19 infection, but doctors now confirm now that it was only a Saturday Night Fever.  They are assuring all of Mr. Travolta’s fan that he will be Staying Alive for the foreseeable future.

Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive (Saturday Night Fever)

**/sarc ‘n /snark

Corolla Virus Discovered In Chicago

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Washing your car is one of the most important steps of maintaining your vehicle’s health. However, it’s important to take the proper measures.

Wash the salt and debris off of your car every 10 days or less to minimize the effects of salt damage. Don’t forget the underside of your car!

Be sure that your vehicle is dry by the time the freezing nighttime temperatures approach. Consider washing your car earlier in the day when temperatures are above 40 degrees to be safe.

After washing, prevent locks from freezing by opening and closing the doors and trunk several times.

Remember.  If you take these precautions you may be able to avoid the Corolla Virus and help prevent the spread of it in your community.

/sarc ‘n /snark