The Babylon Bee—The coffee monolith Starbucks is introducing a brand new drink that promises to begin the hard work of ending racism in America. The new “White Privilege Latte” will cost $50 a cup and taste like pure hatred, bigotry, and regret. “This will be the most progressive drink on the market today,” said marketing director at Starbucks, Madeline Kohn.
The United States Army announced that Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Semyon Vindman, former Director for European Affairs for the United States National Security Council (NSC), has been reassigned. Among his new responsibilities will be ensuring that all penguins under his command address him properly as Lieutenant Colonel and do not engage in any ‘Quid Pro Quo’ type behavior.
“On May 1, 2019 Petco set a bold new standard in nutrition by removing artificial colors, flavors and preservatives* from all dog and cat food and treats. It’s time to clean house.”
It seems that there isn’t a miscreant or ne’er-do-well that the woke WaPo can’t find a little something positive to say. Unless, of course, it’s a living President named Donald J. Trump.
Mickey Rourke says he’ll give Trump a ‘left hook from hell’
FoxNews reports that, “Mickey Rourke isn’t holding his punches when it comes to his thoughts on President Trump.” In fact, ‘some say’ that Rourke blames his case of Trump Derangement Syndrome for making his face look like Montana roadkill. Mr. Rourke explains.
Mickey Rourke displays the ravages of Trump Derangement Syndrome
“That piece of s–t that’s sitting in the White House, that p—y, that lying c–ksucker. That no-good f–king two-faced f–king piece of s–t,” he said in the video. “He said some really nasty things about the two of us. And you know what? It’s personal. There’s gonna be a day where he ain’t president, and we’re gonna bump into each other. And you’re gonna feel me.”
When your polling numbers are less than 2 per cent after running for President since you ran for Senate (and lost) in 2018, you morph from Candidate Zero to Patient Zero.
The Babylon Bee—The coffee monolith Starbucks is introducing a brand new drink that promises to begin the hard work of ending racism in America. The new “White Privilege Latte” will cost $50 a cup and taste like pure hatred, bigotry, and regret. “This will be the most progressive drink on the market today,” said marketing director at Starbucks, Madeline Kohn.
