humor

Lindsey Graham vs. Stephen Miller – ‘The Thrilla In DCilla’

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Lightweight Senator Lindsey Graham is refusing to accept a challenge from brawling newcomer Stephen Miller for a ‘Winner Takes All’ Immigration Debate bout on Tucker Carlson’s Friday Night Fights.  Some say the bout could rival the “Fight of the Century” or the “Rumble in the Jungle” from the Golden Age of Pugilistic Style Debating.

The ‘Probable’ Lindsey Graham vs. The Really ‘Real’ Stephen Miller

**Google’s ‘face recognition’ is vacillating between naming the “Clown-faced” image Lindsey Graham or James Comey. For purposes of this post, we’re dealing with two peas from the same motherpod. So, for full disclosure, our position is that the clown’s face was used “as an example only” of Senator Lindsey Graham in clownface.  “Effing Clown lawyers are murder on details.

Nicholas Cage – “I’ll Take Crappy Role, Just Pay Me”

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Not that Nicholas Cage ever had much ‘artistic integrity’ to begin with, but did you ever wonder why he’s showing up in every ‘piece of shit’ role in every ‘shithole’ straight to DVD movie imaginable?  You know what I mean.  Those movies that you’re tempted to let your dog dump on before you return them to Redbox?  The answer is simple.  Nick Cage has a spending problem every bit as bad a Johnny Depp’s, but not quite the “Star Powered” salary.

So Nick has to take the McDonald’s approach (although McDonald’s does at least pay lip service to QUALITY), “Make a little bit of profit on a whole lot of burgers” – or movies, in Nick’s case.  Here’s what CNBC reports.

But Cage didn’t hold on to his fortune for long. He squandered it away on a string of expensive and often eccentric purchases, eventually facing foreclosure on several properties and owing the IRS $6.3 million in property taxes.

Now worth around $25 million, Cage is taking roles left and right to help pay off his debts.

You can check the foolishness in full by following the link to CNBC, or you can just say “enough” to the ubiquitous Mr. Cage. Hold on! Isn’t “The Ubiquitous Mr. Cage” the working title for Nick’s next movie? Prolly….

FakeNews CNN’s Jim Acosta Is Getting Snarky Again

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At least you’re consistent, Jim. You take a pounding for being a weasel day in and day out, and you just keep being a weasel.

FakeNews CNN’s Reporter Jim Acosta

**Disclaimer-The family Mustelidae (which also includes badgers, otters, and wolverines) is often referred to as the “weasel family”.  The ‘hair’ resemblance is uncanny, don’t you think?

Daily Darwin – Electrician Ladder Brigade Two-fer

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Darwin hilariously points out that this Darwin Award candidate belongs to the rarefied category of ‘Two-fers’, those that seek to wreck havoc on their genomes in two ways simultaneously. In this case, by Ladder and by Electricity.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Kim Jong Wang-chung – North Korea’s Got Talent

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Little Kim Jong-un has made the transition from “Rocket Boy” to “Rapper Boy” and has won the first “North Korea’s Got Talent” contest with his rendition of “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”.

The Evolution of Kim Jong Wang-chung, Hip Hop Celeb

Wang Chung – “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”

 

Daily Darwin – The Naked Motocross Genome

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Darwin does his best facepalm as he asks, “Why would anyone think that a ‘Naked Motocross’ event was any kind of good idea.  There’s nothing like 40 miles of sun, sand, sagebrush, snakes, insects, pot holes and friction to make the old genomes say “Nope”.  Hmmm??  Darwin posits.  Maybe that’s why the race is called an “Enduroid“.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – The “On the Scene, On the Story” Genome

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Darwin is ever amazed by the audacious risk of genomes that some live “On the Scene” reporters will go to in order to get “the Story”. Here’s one Darwin Award candidate practicing his ‘bus brush-back’ skills. Close call, eh? Just wait until he graduates to the ‘human lightning chaser’ reporting category–and actually catches some lightnings.