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Starbucks Commandeers Seattle Domestic Water Supply

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Seattle’s third mayor this week is nowhere to be found.  Starbucks chairman, Howard Schultz, was overheard saying that, “If Seattle goes another week without a ‘real’ mayor, we’ll have Puget Sound totally converted to Pumpkin Spice and the salmon will just have to suck it up and deal…”

**FakeNewsAlert**

Memory Slip – ‘Bone Fever’

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It’s gotta be here, somewhere….

Fido, here, needs to take a breath and read, “7 Steps To Find Lost Objects After Panic Sets In.”

Imagine this: you’re preparing for a trip and 15 minutes before you leave the house you check for your passport. You search through your luggage: nothing. You check in the normal spot in your bedroom dresser drawer: not there. Beads of sweat appear on your forehead. Your mind races and your body isn’t far behind. You ransack the house and you can’t find the passport. You’re on the verge of hyperventilating, you’re covered in sweat, and you’re shaking with anxiety. What now?!?