Girls with axes are hot, eh?
#CallMe
Girls With Big ‘Effing Machine Guns
I love the smell of ‘gunpowder‘ perfume in the morning. It’s my Pumpkin Spice Latte.”
Maxine Waters Face-prints Sheets
The New York Times reports, “Maxine Waters’ Image Found On ‘Shroud’ at Motel 6.” Or maybe, not so much. It was actually sheets that the image was found on, and, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Waters’ excessive makeup simply ‘silk-screened’ itself onto the sheet after an overnight of face sleeping. Experts say that proper personal hygiene could help prevent such transfers in the future.
**FakeNewsAlert**
New NFL ‘Player Designed’ Helmet
In keeping with the spirit of “Letting the inmates run the asylum”, the leadership of the NFL has approved the new “player designed” headgear. Kumbaya, Bro….
A groundskeeper was heard saying about the new headgear, “Pussies to the left of me, pussies to the right. Pussies upstairs in the Broadcast booth, pussies in the Owner’s box and pussies in the Commissioners Office. There’s so many pussies in the NFL now that I’m catching a case of the cramps.”
You Can Call Me Stilts, But Don’t Call Me Johnson
“You can call me Stilts, or you can call me Wilt, or you can call me Legs or you can call me Pegs, or you can call me WiltStilts, or you can call me PegLegs, or you can call me WS, or you can call me PL …but ya doesn’t hafta call me Johnson.”
The News Hour with Kim Jong-RocketMan
Meet ESPN and The NFL Network’s newest talent. It’s speculated that Kim Jong-RocketMan will be not only have a Weekend Show talking both sports and politics, but also be doing a three minute spot prior to the start of each game. RocketMan states that the yet unnamed spot will definitely not have any socially divisive music. And “that’s the way it is“.
More Liberal ‘Bricks In The Wall’
Good job ‘Lefties’. The Mercury News reports, “UC Berkeley’s ‘Free Speech Week’ officially canceled.”
A conservative UC Berkeley student group that had been working with right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos to host a “Free Speech Week” on campus officially called off the four-day program on Saturday.
But the former columnist for the “alt-right” Breitbart News doubled down on his promise to go through with the event, leaving university and law enforcement officials wading into an unpredictable, potentially violent showdown on Sunday.
Some obligatory angst from Pink Floyd – “Another Brick In The Wall”
