Who Lasted Longer? The ‘Mooch’ Or The ‘Duck’

by

TJ Ducklo just got shitcanned…

The obnoxious and self-serving Anthony Scaramucci lasted ten whole days as Trump’s Director of Communications.  That does appear to be the record, but apparently T.J. Ducklo’s transgressions actually occurred more that three weeks ago which would have put him only a day or two into Biden’s term.  The White House just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) pull the trigger.  So we’ll just have to let the Refs review the ‘instant replay footage’ and make the call.

T.J. ‘The Destroyer’ Ducklo

FedEx Truck Slams Into 100-Car Pileup In Fort Worth, TX

by

Inside Edition–A deep freeze across much of the United States has led to treacherous conditions on the nation’s highways. At least five people were killed and many were injured in a massive pileup in Fort Worth, Texas that involved more than 100 cars. Car after car crashed into each other on I-35, which was coated in a slick sheet of ice that made driving treacherous. A careening FedEx truck and trailer slam into the pileup with staggering force, stunning onlookers.

AOC’s Faker Hoaxtm Brand Cancels Aunt Jemima

by

Heh.tm

Citizen Free Press–Aunt Jemima is making her last batch of pancakes.

Quaker Oats said Tuesday that its Aunt Jemima brand pancake mix and syrup will be renamed Pearl Milling Company. Aunt Jemima products will continue to be sold until June, when the packaging will officially change over.

Quaker Oats, a division of PepsiCo Inc., had announced last June that it would retire the Aunt Jemima brand, saying the character’s origins are “based on a racial stereotype.” A former slave, Nancy Green, became the first face of the pancake products in 1890.

Goodbye Aunt Jemima. We barely got to know ye.

Here’s Angeli!! The Horney Red, White, And Blue Protester

by

Jake Angeli The Horned Protester That Stormed The Capitol

Evening Standard–From his unsuccessful acting career to the real reason he was kicked out of the Navy, here’s everything you need to know about the controversial Trump-supporter

Amid all the astonishing pictures of the angry mob seen storming The Capitol last Wednesday, the image of a shirtless man garbed in horns, a bearskin headdress and tan trousers is one that is likely to endure.

Wielding a long spear with the American flag wrapped around it, the protester roamed The Capitol, the heartbeat of American democracy, sitting in the Speaker’s chair in the Senate chamber and howling in the public gallery.

Beneath the horns and face paint is Jacob Anthony Chansley, also known as Jake Angeli – a tattooed 32-year-old from Arizona who joined hundreds of rioters to oppose Joe Biden’s election victory.  But who is he? Here is everything you need to know.