Coffee Causes Cancer In California

From KABC7, “Starbucks, other coffee sellers ordered to warn California customers of carcinogens in coffee“.  Hey, everything causes cancer in California, don’t you know?

Beware of the Dog! Have a cuppa cancer.

A judge ruled that Starbucks and other coffee sellers in California must provide a cancer warning on their products for customers.

A nonprofit group sued several companies that sell coffee, including Starbucks, coffee distributors and retailers in 2010.

The lawsuit claimed those companies violated state law, which requires them to warn consumers about chemicals in the roasting process that may cause cancer. One of those chemicals is acrylamide, which is a carcinogen.

Tide Pod ‘Secret Snacker’

Jimmy’s hurrying to stock up on his favorite Tide Pod snackies before the age restriction and ID check goes into effect.  When asked what his plans were for staying stocked with the tasty little treats ‘post-ban’, Jimmy said, “I know the addresses of all the Procter & Gamble employees within 100 miles of here.  I’ll just kidnap some family members and ….well, you can figure out the rest of the plan.”

**FakeNewsAlert**

Procter & Gamble’s New Line of “Tide Snacks” – Easter Candy Shortage Update

Capitalizing on the unexpected success of “Tide Pods”, P&G just released these new and possibly tasty additions. Update – The demand for Tide Pods “Peeps” Easter Candy has been so exuberant that shelves are already emptied.  Disappointed shoppers were heard to say that “these Pod Peeps went faster than a $99 dollar 60 Inch Big Screen TV at Walmart on Black Friday”.