Holy Gonads, Batperson. The signal says culprit is anyone with a penis.
rainman
Tide Pod ‘Secret Snacker’
Jimmy’s hurrying to stock up on his favorite Tide Pod snackies before the age restriction and ID check goes into effect. When asked what his plans were for staying stocked with the tasty little treats ‘post-ban’, Jimmy said, “I know the addresses of all the Procter & Gamble employees within 100 miles of here. I’ll just kidnap some family members and ….well, you can figure out the rest of the plan.”
**FakeNewsAlert**
Rule Z – Dumbass Apocalypse Is Already Here
Rule Z – There is never, ever just one zombie.
Daily Darwin – Social Justice Warrior Flambes Genomes
Darwin duly notes that SJW’s tend not to be the ‘brightest candles on the cake’. He points out that this genius was a ‘few clowns short of a circus’ when he decided throwing a flaming bottle of flammables was a good idea. One could say the SJW’s ‘logs were ablaze but the chimney was clogged’. And furthermore, Darwin says noting the cracking sounds of genomes roasting, this Social Justice Warrior was definitely ‘a few burgers short of a barbecue’.
Darwin theorizes that most of these SJW Rocket Scientists are ‘all booster and no payload’. He says most of them ‘couldn’t hit a target with an atomic bomb’ or much less ‘blow their noses even if brains were dynamite’. As for the genome question itself, Darwin hypothesizes that this SJW shish kebab’s ‘brother was an only child’.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Teddy’s Last Dinosaur Hunt
Teddy Roosevelt bags the last known Triceratops during a Bighorn sheep hunt in Montana. The future president was quoted as saying, “I’m going to need to get a bigger wall for that bad boy.”
**FakeNewsAlert**
Celebrity Hypocrites Talk Gun Control Out of Both Sides of Their ‘Mouths’
Breitbart reports, “Jennifer Lawrence: ‘Problem is Guns, not Entertainment Industry’“. Hollywood Einstein and Philosopher Queen, Jennifer Lawrence, says murder by guns, lots of guns, in Hollywood movies is art, so it doesn’t count a violence…..?” She poo-poo’s the possibility that the entertainment industry’s utter fascination with violence and the making of firearms a central part of the plot of many movies, could be even be partly to blame for gun violence in America. See if this drivel doesn’t explode your head.
“I think that, you know, we’re the entertainment industry. At some point there has to be separation between politics and the entertainment industry or we’re going to suffer,” Lawrence said Wednesday during the New York premiere of her new spy thriller Red Sparrow. “This is, it’s an art. And it’s an art to entertain and, as an industry, we will suffer and people need to take that responsibility on themselves.”
“The same kind of violence is in different parts of the country that don’t have as many problems as we do,” Lawrence continued, “I think the problems is guns not entertainment industry.”
Here’s Jennifer Lawrence making money with a gun. Would that be ‘prostitution‘ with a gun”
