WTF

Leonardo–Take Your Goat and Shove Up Your Wind Generator

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The Chicago Tribune writes that Leonardo DiCaprio says, “Politicians who don’t believe in climate change ‘should not be allowed to hold public office’“.

Capping a day-long futurist fair and alternative music fest on the South Lawn of the goat_wind_generator_tetherWhite House Monday, President Barack Obama told actor Leonardo DiCaprio and atmospheric scientist Katharine Hayhoe “we’re really in a race against time” to curb the worst impacts of climate change.

“We must empower leaders who not only believe in climate change but are willing to do something about it,” DiCaprio said. “The scientific consensus is in, and the argument is now over. If you do not believe in climate change you do not believe in facts, or in science, or empirical truths, and therefore in my humble opinion should not be allowed to hold public office.”

Now, Leonardo, in my humble opinion, the only good use for your wind generators is to tie up your goats. Contemplate that on your trip to Mars.

Bear Spray Douche

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Don’t be the guy that tried using bear spray to  relieve his jock itch.  Hmmm.  There might be a little more to the story, so make sure you read the “Daily Caller Pro Tip: If Your Junk Is Covered In Bear Spray, Maybe Get Naked And Scrub With Milk“.

A man in small-town Canada stripped down to his birthday suit at a gas station late last month and began drenching his man parts with milk — apparently because he Smokey_Bear_Naked_Fire_Dangerhad somehow managed to squirt some bear spray down his pants.

The unidentified man was completely naked when police arrived on the scene, according to CTV News, a Canadian television station.

“He was in excruciating pain and vigorously using his shirt to scrub his genitals with homogenized milk in an attempt to relieve the pain,” Royal Canadian Mounted Police spokesman Don Wrigglesworth told CTV.