“We’re All Gonna Die”

“Scary Movie” Doppleganger

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Imagine yourself on a winding two lane road, fogbound, 25 miles from nowhere and the ‘low tire pressure warning’ sounding for 2 tires, and, of course, you only have one donut spare that’s low on air. And if that’s not enough, your gas gauge is warning in it’s best ‘see, I told you so’ Google voice saying, “you have 2.2 miles until empty, dummy. You should have filled up at the 7-Eleven where you bought the bad burritos.”  And speaking of bad burritos, the cramps are coming so fast and hard that you know it’s time to make for the bushes and hope there’s no poison ivy.  When… up ahead you spot…??   Tail lights…??  Wazat…??  OMG!!  I’m in my own “Scary Movie!!”

Scary Movie 1 – Official Trailer

New NFL ‘Player Designed’ Helmet

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In keeping with the spirit of “Letting the inmates run the asylum”, the leadership of the NFL has approved the new “player designed” headgear. Kumbaya, Bro….

A groundskeeper was heard saying about the new headgear, “Pussies to the left of me, pussies to the right. Pussies upstairs in the Broadcast booth, pussies in the Owner’s box and pussies in the Commissioners Office. There’s so many pussies in the NFL now that I’m catching a case of the cramps.”

The News Hour with Kim Jong-RocketMan

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Meet ESPN and The NFL Network’s newest talent.  It’s speculated that Kim Jong-RocketMan will be not only have a Weekend Show talking both sports and politics, but also be doing a three minute spot prior to the start of each game.  RocketMan states that the yet unnamed spot will definitely not have any socially divisive music.  And “that’s the way it is“.