Daily Darwin – Vying For ‘Numbnut’ of the Year Award

Darwin points out that although the little balloon retriever’s genomes could be somewhat at risk, it’s Dad’s still immature genomes that are truly in harm’s way. Darwin guarantees, with utmost certainty, that as soon as Mom gets home and sees the Facebook video Dad posted about his day with Jr., Dad’s genomes will be residing in the back of his throat. Ack!! Urp!! Gluck!!

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Penultimate Gender Truism

This little Gender SJW will never have a chance to figure out the ‘ultimate’ gender truism until his own zirself’s zesack recovers from the willie-wack it took from the rubber bullet.  Until then, hir/zir will have to settle for second best.  Did I get that gender pronoun junk right?

Your Guide to making the ‘Simple’ complex.

 

Daily Darwin – Human ‘Hindenberg Disaster’

Darwin winces as he points out that genomes, ‘gas bags’, and an ignition source do not make for good companions.  Oh, the humanity….

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Hair Of The Dog That Bit You

MD 20/20 “Bling Bling” Blue, satisfying ‘dogs’ from the bottom shelf for longer than you can remember.

MD 20/20 Bum Wine Review

As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called “Mad Dog 20/20”. You’ll find this beverage as often in a bum’s nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn’t stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that MD 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in MD 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full “Red Grape Wine” flavor packs the 18% whallop.

Awww!! – Rascal Rodeo

Learn to judge how this little Bronco Buddy scored on his ride.

Rodeo Scoring 101

To judge fairly and accurately and to appreciate the efforts of the contestants, judges must watch the brute raw strength of the livestock as well as the maneuvers of the cowboy.

Because the livestock’s performance accounts for half the rider’s score, judges look at darts, dives, twists and rolls. The tougher the ride, the more points the bull or bronc will be scored by the judges.

Failing to Spur: In bareback bronc and saddle bronc riding, the spurs must be touching the horse over the shoulders when the front hooves hit the ground during the first jump out of the chute. If a saddle bronc or bareback bronc rider fails to do this, he will be disqualified.

Touching the Livestock, Rigging or Himself: The rider cannot touch any of these with his free hand in bareback bronc, saddle bronc or bull riding. If he does, the judge will disqualify him.

Losing a Stirrup: If a rider loses a stirrup before the end of his eight-second ride in saddle bronc riding, the judge will make a hand signal to the announcers and timers immediately.

SCORING THE RIDER
BCRA Official Rule Book
BCRA OFFICIAL RULE BOOK

The rider must mark out his horse with the first jump out of the chute. The cowboy must ride for eight seconds.

The judge awards points primarily for spurring action in bareback and saddle bronc riding.

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