political correctness
So How Cold Is It, Johnny?
“Cold” is a relative term. Use the handy list below to overcome the confusion. Degrees (Fahrenheit). More “Cold Jokes” found here. Canadians, eh? get honorable mention throughout.
65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens. Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night.
60 above zero: Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth. You can see your breath.
40 above zero: Minnesotans drive with the sunroof open. Italian cars don’t start. Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts. Minnesotans go swimming.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
25 above zero: Ohio water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming, eh?
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt. Maritimers put on a T-shirt. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. British cars don’t start. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further South.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets cold. Toronto water freezes. Vancouverites weep pitiably. Manitobans eat ice cream on the patio. Maritimers go swimming.
10 above zero: You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 above zero: You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. Montreal water freezes.
Zero: Miami residents cease to exist. Minnesotans close the windows. Alaskans put on T-shirts.
5 below zero: French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Minnesotans dig their winter coats out of storage. Too cold to ski. Manitobans do up the top button. German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
15 below zero: You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
20 below zero: Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Minnesota still selling cookies door to door. American cars don’t start. Yukoners put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.
30 below zero: German cars don’t start. Swedish cars don’t start.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors. Ottawans shovel snow off roof. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip South.
50 below zero: Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window
60 below zero: You plan a two week hot bath (if you could only thaw the water). The St Lawrence freezes over.
Gillette – “Caught You Looking….”
For the WIN last week at the National Spelling Bee competition….
Moderator: Your word is HYPOCRISY. An example of a hypocrite is a person who says they care about the environment, but are constantly littering. Hypocrisy.
Contestant: Alright. HYPOCRISY. Hypocrisy. G-I-L-L-E-T-T-E. Gillette. Hypocrisy.
And the audience breaks out into cheers…
Saudi Consulate Gift Shop Was Sold Out Of Those ‘Cool’ Keffiyeh Head Scarf Things
Click Door Three to see what you got from the Saudi Consulate Gift Shop. Hint. It not a coincidence that Door Three looks quite “medieval“.
Surfing Port-Au-Prince…
May not be the best idea you’ve ever had. NPR writes, “Port-Au-Prince: A City Of Millions, With No Sewer System.”
Port-au-Prince is about the size of Chicago. But it doesn’t have a sewer system. It’s one of the largest cities in the world without one.
That’s a big problem, but never more so than during a time of cholera.
Public health authorities say cholera will stay in the environment for a long time, because Haiti has the worst sanitation in this hemisphere.
So what does happen to all of the products of our human internal combustion system. Again, from NPR, “Haiti’s ‘Bayakou’: Hauling Away Human Excrement By Hand.”
Haiti’s capital city doesn’t have a sewer system. Instead, so-called nightsoil, or
human excrement, is largely removed by hand by workers who toil at night under cover of darkness.
Port-au-Prince, Haiti, is one of the largest cities in the world without a central sewage system. Most of the more than 3 million residents use outhouses and rely on workers with some of the worst jobs in the world, hauling away human excrement by hand one bucket at a time. The men are called bayakou, and they work in the dark by candlelight.
**I did a little “Recycling” here because the Toxic Surfer Meme was most excellent.
Senator Kyrsten ‘Boots’ Sinema (Democrat-AZ) – “Pretty Woman”
The Boots? Not so much….
Roy Orbison – “Oh, Pretty Woman”
Julia Roberts “Pretty Woman” – (Loveliest Boots on the Planet)
‘Notorious RBG’ Amber Alert
Curious that even the “Google” has no current information on the status of ‘Notorious RBG’s’ health. It’s as if…. Well, not talking about her will give the Democrats enough time to Impeach Donald Trump so they can say, “An Impeached President can’t nominate a Supreme Court Justice…” Do ya think?
Gimme Some Of That ‘Old Time’ Global Warming
Voted Mr. ‘AGW-Climate Change-Global Warming (AKA: Weather)’ Man Of The Year.
Ancestry.cat
WHO WAS SHE? A DNA TEST ONLY OPENED NEW MYSTERIES.
How Alice’s foray into “recreational genomics” upended a family tree.
Heh.
