democrat

Chiraq – ChiPhone

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Apple is still working to perfect production techniques for their new ChiPhone. Their usual 6 day Chiraq_ChiPhoneInventory Turnover ratio has been slowed considerably by an uptick in Workers Compensation issues occurring with the Product Development Team.  Consequently, Team Leaders are considering a temporary halt in Field Testing.

A senior member of the Team was heard to say that it’s “imperative to bring the Project back into the lab to further refine testing protocols because the mayhem factor is still not under control.”

Here’s a summary of their analysis provided by HeyJackass.com.

Make America Brazil Again

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God forbid Hillary Clinton is elected President, but I can see the Loyal Opposition’s headlines, “Make America Brazil Again”, or as the Washington Post reports, “Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff ousted in impeachment vote“.

BRASILIA — Brazil’s Senate ousted Dilma Rousseff as president Wednesday, voting overwhelmingly to impeach the leftist leader in the culmination of a protracted process that has divided the country.

Hillary_NixonThe vote to impeach Rousseff was 61 to 20. Two-thirds of senators — 54 out of 81 — were needed for impeachment to pass.

Senators broke into cheering and applause after the electronic voting was announced and sang the national anthem, concluding a process that was given the go-ahead in December.

Dude Looks Like a Lady – Lady Looks Like a Dude

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From the Daily Caller, “Dudes Who Dress Up As Women Can Now Play On The Sports Teams At This Fancypants College“.

TransGender_Ponytail_RestroomsMale students at private Westminster College in Salt Lake City can now play on female sports teams and use female locker and shower facilities as long as they identify as women.

School officials say they are forced to allow cross-dressing men to play on women’s sports teams — and use women’s showers — because of the way the Obama administration has decided to interpret Title IX.

“Westminster College is committed to protecting the rights of all students, and the purpose of this message to inform you of the newly-affirmed rights of transgender students under the DCL.” (“”DCL is an acronym used by Schwartz for “Dear TransGender_Urninal_All_Dressed_UpColleague Letter.”)

These “newly-affirmed rights” include “the right to access restrooms and locker rooms consistent with their gender identity” and “the right to participate in athletic activities consistent with their gender identity,” Schwartz wrote.

“In cases where selection for teams is competitive or when the activity involved is a contact sport, Westminster College will make tailored requirements based on sound, current, and research-based medical knowledge about the impact of an individual student’s participation on the competitive fairness or physical safety of the sport,” Schwartz added.

Again from the Daily Caller “‘Intersex’ Athlete Wins Gold Medal In Women’s 800M“.

South African runner Caster Semenya dominated the women’s 800-meter final Saturday in Rio, finishing well ahead of the competition to take home the gold TransGender_Cutout_Racistmedal.

Semenya is widely believed to be “intersex,” defined by the United Nations as people born with sex characteristics “that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.” The Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) last summer suspended International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) rules prohibiting athletes who exceed a testosterone threshold from competing in women’s track and field events, clearing the way for Semenya to compete in Rio.

Could Hillary Be Stealing Buddy’s Meds

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Yeah, I know Buddy passed from mysterious circumstances  in January, 2002, but to make the story work, let’s just talk about Hillary’s other pets.  Suppose….

From CBS Philly comes the report, “Why Some Are Stealing Medications From Their Pets“.

PHILADELPHIA (CNN) — Some of us may be sharing a little too much with our pets.

Hillary_Barks_Like_A_DogSure, people share their dinners with their dogs, and some share their beds, but that kind of closeness generally isn’t as much of a major danger to human health as this new kind of closeness uncovered by unsuspecting scientists. There is now scientific evidence that some people may be sharing their pets’ medications.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMZqS7q7voY

ACA – It’s Almost Time to Not Sign Up Again

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The Washington Post report about the dire circumstances facing ObamaCares , simply recaps a fact that you knew 4 years ago would be inevitable, “Health-care exchange sign-ups fall far short of forecasts“.

Enrollment in the insurance exchanges for President Obama’s signature health-care law is at less than half the initial forecast, pushing several major insurance Obamacare_Works_Only_If_You_Dontcompanies to stop offering health plans in certain markets because of significant financial losses.

As a result, the administration’s promise of a menu of health-plan choices has been replaced by a grim, though preliminary, forecast: Next year, more than 1 in 4 counties are at risk of having a single insurer on its exchange, said Cynthia Cox, who studies health reform for the Kaiser Family Foundation.

Debate over how perilous the predicament is for the Affordable Care Act, commonly called Obamacare, is nearly as partisan as the divide over the law itself. But at the root of the problem is this: The success of the law depends fundamentally on the exchanges being profitable for insurers — and that requires more people to sign up.