Toys “R” Us Plans New Line of Business
A spokesman for one of the private equity groups involved with the Toy “R” Us leveraged buyout said that their new “Bridal Registry” line of business should pull them through bankruptcy in great shape.
Al Franken Returns to Work
Al FrankenWeinstein’s Senate colleagues have a new name for him, “Jabba the Rutt”. If the shoe fits Al…
Auditioning For Game of Thrones…
But still needs a few more tab-tops to finish costume. He likes his beer (obviously), so if the G.O.T. thing doesn’t work out, he’s on to Anheuser-Busch to try an find a gig.
Trump ‘Clint Eastwoods’ Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi
President Donald Trump borrowed a page from Clint Eastwood’s 2012 RNC ‘Empty Chair‘ speech and did an ‘Eastwood’ on Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi after their passive-aggressive decision to boycott a Presidential meeting on the current tax reform legislation. The poor babies didn’t like a Trump Tweet. Chuck. Nancy. Your really make it oh, so easy for Trump to troll you. Man up! You to Chuck.
USA Today has the rest of the story.
Hillary’s Latest Polling Problem
Hillary Clinton’s book, “What Happened” was purported to be the definitive analysis of her election loss to now President, Donald J. Trump. However, we feel this latest poll most accurately sums up Ms. Clinton’s electability issues. Tune back in tomorrow when we answer the question “Would you rather have dinner with Hillary Clinton or Jeffrey Dahmer?”
Kim Jong-Bo
I know Barack Obama isn’t President any more, but the hair was too ‘effing good to pass up.
They ‘Included’ Every Letter In The Alphabet
‘Effing Liberal Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Twospirit, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Allies, Pansexual, Polyamorous Idiots.
Awww!! Why Not? Purebred Vs. ‘Inbread’
Badda bing. Badda boom.
Dump Monday Night Football
You’ve still got turkey left that you have to try and find a unique, new way to fix as left-overs. And you still haven’t put up your Christmas lights. So get cracking. Turn off the TV. Besides tonight’s games are a competition of the mediocre. The Houston Texans are 4-6. Big Whoop. And the Baltimore Ravens are 5-5. Somebody will win and somebody will lose. One team will be 5-6 and the other 6-5. Impressive!!! Not so much…
Nicholas Cage’s New Girl Friend Is A Real Looker
That crazy Nicholas Cage got himself a new tattoo and a new girl friend too. Nick says that she only has eyes for him.
Nicholas ‘Effing Cage For Life??
There is no accounting for the choices that people make. Nice tattoo, Nick. I’m pretty sure that’s Nick’s own leg with the fancy ‘photo realistic’ tattoo, but maybe not…
Congress Is One Weiner Leaner
As Anthony comes to the end of his first month in prison, we should recognize Mr. Weiner’s contribution to Draining the Swamp. 