William Shatner Launches Major Jeff Where No Mogul Has Gone Before

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Petitions to Keep Jeff Bezos in Space After Blue Origins Launch Exceed 100,000 Signatures

Jeff Bezos in Star Trek Beyond

Newsweek–Petitions calling on Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos to stay in space once he gets there have been signed more than 100,000 times since they were launched two weeks ago.

Bezos is a multi-billionaire and world’s richest person with a net worth of around $200bn, according to Forbes. He is due to travel to space on July 20 with Blue Origin, the private rocket company he founded.

Next month’s launch is purely for pleasure, marking the growth of the nascent space tourism industry.

William Shatner Launches Major Jeff Where No Mogul Has Gone Before

John McAfee Didn’t $WHACKD Himself

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And neither did Jeffrey Epstein.

‘Tater’ Goes Incogmeato

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Brian ‘Tater’ Stelter Draws Increasing Fire From Critics Over CNN Show’s Ratings Decline

Ratings Plunge cause Brian ‘Tater’ Stelter to go Incogmeato

MEDIAite–Reliable Sources “has failed to attract one million viewers for 11 straight weeks and averaged only 752,000 on Sunday for its smallest audience of 2021,” wrote Fox News media reporter Brian Flood. Fox boasted that its own weekly media show, MediaBuzz, hosted by Howard Kurtz, averaged 1.1 million viewers in the same timeslot on the same day.

But as Bill Parcells once famously said, you are what your record says you are. And there’s no getting around the fact that CNN’s 2021 numbers have fallen considerably since their January peak. Sooner or later, the network and its media maven will have to recapture that audience — lest his attackers decide he’s no longer worth the trouble.

News Ripped From The Headlines Of “News Yet to Come”

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Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics

The Babylon Bee–100% totally female weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was forced to bid farewell to her Olympic dreams yesterday after a tragic accident left her with a severely lacerated testicle. Hubbard would have been the first transgender woman to compete in the Olympics.

The injury is not life-threatening, but doctors have advised Hubbard that she needs to refrain from heavy lifting for at least six to eight weeks as her injury heals. Obviously, that means Olympic weightlifting is off the table.

**The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come (“News Yet to Come”) appropriately appropriated from Charles Dickens
**/sarc ‘n /snark

Did ‘Ol Joe Really Pay For Hunter’s Russian Hooker?

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If Daddy’s nom de plume is “Celtic“, quite possibly.

New York Post–It’s May 2018, and Robert Hunter Biden is trawling through his favorite Los Angeles escort sites. He orders “Yanna,” a 24-year-old Russian native from Emerald Fantasy Girls.

“Russian, Green Eyes, Thin Brunette, an elite courtesan” is Yanna’s pitch, along with a menu of sex acts.

“Hi, My name is Rob. I’m staying at Chateau Marmont. Are you available now?”

Hunter’s escapades with Yanna are a glimpse into the president’s son’s debauched lifestyle, but it also raises questions about how much his finances were mingled with Joe Biden. As detailed in Hunter’s own text messages, two mysterious men would show up soon after Yanna left, asking curious questions.

California Says, “Break Out Your Boogie Shoes, ‘Cause You Ain’t Pluggin’ In Your Electric Car…Fool”

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Blistering heat blankets Southern California as Flex Alert issued for Thursday afternoon

Los Angeles Times–Inland and desert regions continued to bake. Palmdale, Lancaster and Sandberg broke records set in 1961 at 112, 113 and 101 degrees. Woodland Hills saw a high of 107, down slightly from Tuesday.

The California Independent System Operator, which monitors power lines across the state, initially said Wednesday that the grid was stable and that the state would have enough electricity to meet demand. Just hours later, however, the agency issued a Flex Alert for Thursday from 5 to 10 p.m. to encourage reduced energy usage because of the strain on the state’s grid.

Residents are advised to avoid lowering the thermostat during those hours and to complete tasks involving high amounts of energy beforehand, such as using major appliances and charging devices and electric cars.

K.C. and Sunshine Band – Boogie Shoes(Long Version)

https://youtu.be/6m47EQtAMzI

Ground Control To Major Jeff

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66,000+ People Sign Petition to Stop Jeff Bezos from Returning to Earth After Spaceflight

Breitbart–More than 66,000 people have signed two petitions calling to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos to not return to earth after he leaves the planet on a Blue Origin rocket next month.

The petition description states: “Billionaires should not exist…on earth, or in space, but should they decide the latter they should stay there.” Many signatories provided reasoning for their signing, such as “being let back into Earth is a privilege — not a right,” and “Earth don’t want people like Jeff, Bill, Elon and other such billionaires” referring to Bill Gates and Elon Musk.

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CNN Breaking News! Flat Earther Surfing Disaster

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FakeNews CNN’s Brian ‘Tater’ Stelter reports “Surfers on edge after 40 go missing…”

‘Tater’ is sure to “Get Peeled” for trying to resurrect his failing show with this cheesy (and we’re pretty sure it’s a FakeNews)story. Since Former President Donald Trump left the White House, CNN has lost almost 70% of its viewers.


**/sarc ‘n /snark