Refrigerated Isolation Ward Shows Progress
TEOTWAWKI
Breaking News… John Travolta Hospitalized
John Travolta was hospitalized Saturday for a suspected COVID-19 infection, but doctors now confirm now that it was only a Saturday Night Fever. They are assuring all of Mr. Travolta’s fan that he will be Staying Alive for the foreseeable future.
Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive (Saturday Night Fever)
**/sarc ‘n /snark
Corolla Virus Discovered In Chicago
Washing your car is one of the most important steps of maintaining your vehicle’s health. However, it’s important to take the proper measures.
Wash the salt and debris off of your car every 10 days or less to minimize the effects of salt damage. Don’t forget the underside of your car!
Be sure that your vehicle is dry by the time the freezing nighttime temperatures approach. Consider washing your car earlier in the day when temperatures are above 40 degrees to be safe.
After washing, prevent locks from freezing by opening and closing the doors and trunk several times.
Remember. If you take these precautions you may be able to avoid the Corolla Virus and help prevent the spread of it in your community.
/sarc ‘n /snark
Jack Daniels Corona Chaser
No. Not a Boilermaker, but Jack with a Spritzer…err, sprayer.
M-M-M-My Corona
Global Pandemic Media Brings You, “My Corona”.
Blasé About ‘The End Of The World As We Know It’
“When In Danger, Or In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream And Shout.”
Just Finished Our Cruise On The ‘Corona Queen’
We’ll be going to Walmart and Cabelas for our next vacation… Which we’ll be taking next week and spending it at home. We just need to stock up on guns, ammo, Zombie supplies, food, water, toilet paper, batteries, more ammo, bleach, plastic sheeting, duct tape, yada, yada, and yada.
Just Makin’ Sure The Chinese Takeout Doesn’t Stick Around
With that Corona ‘Beer’ Virus, Chinese Food Isn’t Just “Rental Food” Anymore
Is The Super Bowl Today? Or Next Sunday??
Does Tom Brady have enough fingers for another Super Bowl ring? Oh, wait a minute…
**/sarc ‘n /snark
Artist Demonstrates Corona ‘Beer’ Virus Symptoms
Notably, these symptoms tend to present after prolonged exposures, generally exceeding seis cervezas.
Frozen iguanas to start falling from trees in Florida
The New York Post gives us one more reason to despise ‘Effing Lawyers
Don’t look up, Florida.
The National Weather Service (NWS) is warning citizens of South Florida to take cover as they forecast showers of frozen iguanas on Wednesday amid unusually low temperatures in the 30s and 40s around the region.
Apparently, iguanas are known to literally freeze in-state as temperatures reach around 40 degrees Fahrenheit. When this happens, they’re prone to slipping-off tree branches where they often reside.
