Terminal Derangement Syndromes

TDS – Terminal Derangement Syndromes, or Where’s Trump?

Trump Channels Mattis

by

Here’s a few more delightful Mattisisms.

“I don’t lose any sleep at night over the potential for failure. I cannot even spell the word.”

“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

“The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears.”

“No war is over until the enemy says it’s over. We may think it over, we may declare it over, but in fact, the enemy gets a vote.”

“There is nothing better than getting shot at and missed. It’s really great.”

“I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.”

“Demonstrate to the world there is ‘No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy’ than a U.S. Marine.”

Gen. James “Mad Dog” Mattis

#TDS – Trump Derangement Syndrome

by

#TDS-Trump Derangement Syndrome will soon be proudly included in the New Sixth Edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s standard reference, “The Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)”. Also included will be a new revised “Goldwater Rule” for remote diagnosis without examination.  It will no longer be a violation of ethics for psychiatrists to give a professional opinion about public figures they have not examined in person, and from whom they have not obtained consent to discuss their mental health in public statements as long as that person is named Donald J. Trump.

**AlmostFakeNews

Fire At Hillary Clinton’s Chappaqua Home?

by

“Fire breaks out on Hillary and Bill Clinton’s property in Chappaqua, N.Y.“, shouts the Washington Post!  A smoke and soot stained Hillary burdened with a cardboard box of something partially charred, was heard muttering, “you just can’t trust Bill to do anything….except ‘dick’ Bimbos.  Energizer Bunny, my smokey ass.”

A small fire broke out at Hillary and Bill Clinton’s property in New York and was quickly extinguished Wednesday afternoon, officials said.

The fire started around 2:40 p.m. in a building used by the Secret Service on the Clinton’s property, the Secret Service said in a statement. It was put out by about 3:15 p.m., according to the Associated Press. No one was injured in the blaze.

All He Wants For Christmas Is A Tattoo Removal Gift Certificate

by

He really wants to lose the Hillary ‘tramp stamp’ he got a year ago just before the 2016 Presidential Election while in a drunken “feel my inner feminist” stupor.  He thought that wearing a ‘pussy hat’ and voting for Hillary would get him a date.  So how’d that work out for him?  Not so well, on any account.

For the 2018 Mid-term Elections, he’s going to try a full body ‘Brazilian wax‘ and a “I Heart Melania” tattoo on his left (and now bare) man boob.  MAGA!

Hillary’s Latest Polling Problem

by

Hillary Clinton’s book, “What Happened” was purported to be the definitive analysis of her election loss to now President, Donald J. Trump.  However, we feel this latest poll most accurately sums up Ms. Clinton’s electability issues.  Tune back in tomorrow when we answer the question “Would you rather have dinner with Hillary Clinton or Jeffrey Dahmer?”