#CrookedHillary

Do Be a Debate Dog

by

Gear up because the ‘stuffs gonna fly.  Hillary invited Mark Cuban (notorious Trumpophobic) to Monday night’s Presidential Debate and The “Donald” responded by inviting Gennifer Flowers (notorious buxom Bill Clinton dog_debate_dogparamour).  And depending on the number of front row seats Trump has, he most certainly will invite Monica, Juanita, Kathleen, and Dolly.

Just in case the above ladies have a previous engagement, there are rumors that Trump will do a Clint Eastwood empty seat deal with name tags on them.

For that matter, Trump has a plethora of choices to get inside Hillary’s head.  It wouldn’t be that hard for him to fill up the entire front row with Bill’s previous dalliances. Let’s see, you have, in reserve, Paula, Maria, Belinda, Naomi, Markie, Patricia, Elizabeth, Sally….

Hillary’s Doctors Say She’s Fit To Debate

by

The Daily Mail reports that,

When she meets the Republican nominee Monday night at Hofstra University, Clinton will be stuck on stage if she is unsteady on her feet or lapses into a prolonged hillary_hillarys_doctorscoughing fit.

In addition, debate moderator Lester Holt, who anchors NBC Nightly News, will not have the power to instruct cameramen to ‘cut away’ from the stage if Clinton finds herself physically compromised during the 90-minute debate, the first of three showdowns before the November 8 election.

‘And microphone audio for either of the candidates is not to be manipulated,’

 

My New Home Is In Chappaqua

by

When Trump gave a speech on terrorism and immigration and said,

We want people to come into our country, but they have to come in legally, through a process…. No one has a right to immigrate to this country.

It seemed pretty reasonable to most folks, but not Hillary Clinton. She retweeted,

hillary_immigration_tweet

Hillary’s comment makes no more sense than me saying I have a right to move into this random house at 15 Old House Ln, Chappaqua, NY 10514. (Come on, Secret Service. Just joking. Using Reductio ad absurdum to argue the absurdity of Hillary’s comment.)

These Eyes

by

Even though many of us have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express, it still doesn’t qualify us to make a medical hillary_eye_roll_animateddiagnosis from YouTube.  However, that being said, ‘these eyes‘ of Hillary Clinton are ‘effing weird.  Read this from the American Mirror,

We don’t know, although based on a video recording of Hillary during a speech last night in Philadelphia, some neurological issues may have returned. As The American Mirror reported, “Hillary’s eyes appeared not in-sync with one another.” A montage of Hillary’s eye-catching moments before a small group of Temple University students can be seen below in footage by The American Mirror.

The Guess Who singing “These Eyes” are most likely not referring to Hillary’s really, really strange ones.

SkittleGate

by

trump_skittlegate_captureLet’s see.  Hillary has BillGate (not Bill Gates, but the one where he made a DNA deposit), EmailGate, FoundationGate, WeinerGate (that’s the one where her #1 Huma’s husband channels Bill Clinton), BenghaziGate, BimboGate, FileGate, ChinaGate, TravelGate, WhiteWaterGate, CattleGate, RapeGate, and good for a second mention, FoundationGate, to name just a few.

Trump has SkittleGate.  OMG.  The world as we know it is coming to an end.

Hillary’s New StairMaster

by

hillary_hillary_version_of_stairmasterHillary was overheard telling her Press Gaggle, “Did you know? If you’re looking to burn calories, lose weight and strengthen and tone major muscle groups, stair climbing provides astounding results.”

She went on to say, “In fact, climbing stairs is widely regarded as one of the most efficient and effective cardio and strength building workouts you can do. If you’re willing to put in the work, it provides the results!”

She proudly pointed out that her StairMaster  was provided  through a grant from the Bill, Hillary, and Chelsea Clinton Foundation.

**StairMaster makes no claim that your results will equal Hillary Clinton’s, but past results are usually predictive of future performance.