#CallMe

Hillary Copes – Alternate Nostril Breathing For Her Alternate Reality

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This ‘howler‘ was reported in the Washington Examiner, “Hillary Clinton demonstrates ‘alternate nostril breathing’ during CNN interview“.

Failed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton demonstrated on Wednesday one of the ways she dealt with her shocking loss to President Trump in the aftermath of the 2016 election while promoting her new campaign memoir.

“Seems like you’ve been doing a lot of yoga?” CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked during an interview organized as part of Clinton’s What Happened book tour.

“Yes, I have,” Clinton responded. “And alternate nostril breathing.”

Here are a few examples of why Hillary’s life now consists solely of making excuses and alternate nostril breathing. Look.

And if just the thought of Hillary’s ‘alternate nostril breathing’ wasn’t enough to gag you out, Anderson Cooper says, “Gee, Hillary! Can we see? Please? Can we…..?”

Cooper then asked Clinton to show him what the coping mechanism entailed.

“I would highly recommend it,” Clinton started. “You are supposed to shut your eyes — I don’t want to shut my eyes on national television — but you do hold [your nostril] and breathe through one, and you hold it and then you exhale to the other and you keep going.”

Apple Announces iPhone X Accessories

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Not only will your iPhone X turn your face into a ‘poop emoji’, which is Apple’s way of telling you that you paid way, way too much for that phone, but you can also take care of all of your kitchen tasks with this new accessory.

**FakeNews Alert

Lyin’ Brian Williams Tells Viewers “Be Like Me”

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Lyin’ Brian Williams suggested to his Hurricane Irma audience, “You don’t need to take no stinkin’ pictures, just steal somebody else’s and post it. We’ve got your back. Yeah, Mr. Lyin’ Brian, FakeNews Specialist, Williams–tell us again how you did it.

The in studio MSNBC crew marvelled at the photos showing the storm’s winds had made the water recede:

PERRY: And one of the things we do want to mention because people have power are probably seeing this, don’t go look. Let us show you this. Don’t go down there.

METEOROLOGIST BILL KARINS: Tampa, you have six, seven, eight hours until they have to get to their safe rooms, but you know, you don’t want to be driving around.

That’s when Williams interjected to instruct viewers to “pretend” they had did something they hadn’t actually done:

“Forward this picture on Instagram, pretend you shot it, and pretend it’s yours, and we’ll look the other way,” Williams stated.

Let’s take a walk down ‘Memory Lane’ with Lyin’ Brian…

H/T NewsBusters

AGW – Forecasting Scams On The Horizon

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As surely as the sun comes up in the east, Hurricanes Harvey and Irma will bring out every AGW-Climate Change-Global Warming (AKA: Weather) scam artist that can slither out from under a rock.  Right?  Al Gore?

Hurricane Irma ‘Sign Language’ Interpreter Throws Sign Bombs

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Florida Governor Rick Scott’s sign language interpreter did everything but “bend over and kiss his ass goodbye” to prove the point that Hurricane Irma was gonna be a bad one.  From the Gateway Pundit,

“Florida Governor’s Sign Language Interpreter Kills It – Flaps, Shakes and Drops Tongue During Presser “.

Just watching this guy wears me out, but I think everyone gets the point. Now Governor Scott’s performance–pretty buttoned-down. But memorable? Maybe not so much…