WTF

Bear Spray Douche

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Don’t be the guy that tried using bear spray to  relieve his jock itch.  Hmmm.  There might be a little more to the story, so make sure you read the “Daily Caller Pro Tip: If Your Junk Is Covered In Bear Spray, Maybe Get Naked And Scrub With Milk“.

A man in small-town Canada stripped down to his birthday suit at a gas station late last month and began drenching his man parts with milk — apparently because he Smokey_Bear_Naked_Fire_Dangerhad somehow managed to squirt some bear spray down his pants.

The unidentified man was completely naked when police arrived on the scene, according to CTV News, a Canadian television station.

“He was in excruciating pain and vigorously using his shirt to scrub his genitals with homogenized milk in an attempt to relieve the pain,” Royal Canadian Mounted Police spokesman Don Wrigglesworth told CTV.

 

Chiraq – ChiPhone

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Apple is still working to perfect production techniques for their new ChiPhone. Their usual 6 day Chiraq_ChiPhoneInventory Turnover ratio has been slowed considerably by an uptick in Workers Compensation issues occurring with the Product Development Team.  Consequently, Team Leaders are considering a temporary halt in Field Testing.

A senior member of the Team was heard to say that it’s “imperative to bring the Project back into the lab to further refine testing protocols because the mayhem factor is still not under control.”

Here’s a summary of their analysis provided by HeyJackass.com.

In Keeping With Food Theme – KFC Recipe Revealed

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The Chicago Tribune reports that we “may” have inadvertently learned the 75 year old secret of  Colonel Sanders magic chicken elixir.  In the Tribune article,  “KFC recipe revealed? Tribune shown family scrapbook with 11 herbs and spices“, they report.Chicken_Run01

So many stories have been told about Colonel Sanders and his Kentucky Fried Chicken, it’s impossible to know where the truth ends and the fiction begins.

This is one of those stories. A mix of memory, mystery and a pinch of “what if?” It involves one of the best-kept culinary secrets of all time, and the man who’s arguably the original celebrity chef.

Long story, short. The author of this article gets to see the family scrapbook, and behold.

KFC_Secret_RecipeBut what I’m really interested in is the handwritten note on the back of the document. At the top of the page, in blue ink, it reads, “11 Spices — Mix With 2 Cups White Fl.” That’s followed by an enumerated list of herbs and spices. Eleven herbs and spices. And the measurements for each.