NSA

My New Low Cost Home Security System

by

It’s even more effective than Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson or Mr. O.F. Mossberg’s systems. Wait for it….

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.

NSA_Listening_Booth
NSA Listening Booth

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’ve NEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my wife and me to wear when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can’t pat us down.  If they say I’m a male wearing a burka, I just say I’m feeling like a woman today.

Hot Damn — Safe at last — Ain’t America great or what?

And just to cover all of my bases, I’ve contracted with some of my local Garden Gnomes to provide some additional perimeter security.  Meet the Home Guard.

 

Thanks to Sgt. Axeman for making my day.

Hunting Edward Snowden

by

According to TheNational, a “Secret US flight flew over Scottish airspace to capture Snowden“.  I think they missed the part about the little “NSA Search Marbles” that were dropped during the over flight.

THE UK GOVERNMENT is facing demands to reveal the details of a secret flight through Scottish airspace which was at the centre of a plot to capture whistleblower Edward Snowden.

The plane, which passed above the Outer Hebrides, the Highlands and Aberdeenshire, was dispatched from the American east coast on June 24 2013, the day after Snowden left Hong Kong for Moscow. The craft was used in controversial US ‘rendition’ missions.

WTF_Photo_Marble_animated

Reports by Scottish journalist Duncan Campbell claim the flight, travelling well above the standard aviation height at 45,000 feet and without a filed flight plan, was part of a mission to capture Snowden following his release of documents revealing mass surveillance by US and UK secret services.

That the flight passed over Scotland, airspace regulated by the UK, has raised questions over UK complicity in a covert mission to arrest Snowden and whether any police, aviation or political authorities in Scotland were made aware of the flight path.