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Obama Auditions for Role on “Girls” TV Show

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Barack H. Obama, channeling feminist icon, Lena Dunham, sent her this photo in the hopes of landing a role on “Girls”.  As the soon to be ex-president was stuffing the photo into the envelope he was heard saying, “a girls gotta do what a girls gotta due to get by”.

Who Let the Monkeys Out?

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After an eight year hiatus in which monkey references were considered racist when discussing  a President, liberal democrats see fit to release those monkeys again.  SNL Likens Trump to Monkey with Machine Gun.  So as long as it is now acceptable by Liberal Democratic Standards to refer to Presidents as monkeys, we’ll open a new category – “Monkeyshines”.

Here’s the first installment from our scrapbook of all things monkey.

Daily Darwin – Belly Flop Fail

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Darwin has a hard time containing his glee every time some fool attempts a belly flop (or as Darwin in wont to call it – a ball buster) and it turns out to be a true genome squisher.  Usually, there is water involved, and sometimes as in this poor fool’s experience, not so much water.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Memo To John Podesta – ‘Effing Suck It Up

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John Podesta is having a hissy fit in today’s WashingtonPost’s venting, “Something is deeply broken at the FBI“.  He spews,

The more we learn about the Russian plot to sabotage Hillary Clinton’s campaign and elect Donald Trump, and the failure of the FBI to adequately respond, the more shocking it gets. The former acting director of the CIA has called the Russian cyberattack “the political equivalent of 9/11.” Just as after the real 9/11, we need a robust, independent investigation into what went wrong inside the government and how to better protect our country in the future.

Well, John, compared to your previous job description and duties, it’s obvious you have way too much time on your hands. I suggest two possibilities to help you fill the empty hours: 1) Download ‘Tinfoil’ hat construction techniques and begin practicing, and 2) Start on that great American novel you have always yearned to write. Call it, “The Siberian Candidate – How Donald Trump with the Help of Vlad Putin and the KGB Stole the Election From My Boss, Hillary Clinton, Who was Entitled to be the First Woman President of the United States, but that misogynist Donald Trump Grabbed Her By the Emails (I mean Femails) and Kept Her (Us) From Our Destiny.”

Or,  you could just ‘effing suck it up, John.

TrigglyPuff II – Attack of the Russkies

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In case you don’t know what TrigglyPuff II is talking about, it’s regarding that time last November when Vlad Putin dropped Russian paratroopers into polling locations throughout the ‘Rust Belt’ in order to stuff the ballot boxes with Donald Trump votes. Hmmm?  Didn’t they make a movie about that once?  Or twice?

Let me remind you of the original, and unforgettable, TrigglyPuff.