democrat

Obama Auditions for Role on “Girls” TV Show

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Barack H. Obama, channeling feminist icon, Lena Dunham, sent her this photo in the hopes of landing a role on “Girls”.  As the soon to be ex-president was stuffing the photo into the envelope he was heard saying, “a girls gotta do what a girls gotta due to get by”.

Obama Fiddles While Archduke Assasinated

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Well, maybe he wasn’t ‘fiddling’, but was only golfing.  And maybe it wasn’t Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria that was assasinated, but the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrey G. Karlov.  Maybe the metaphors are a bit haphazard, but the fact remains that Barack Obama will get his 36 holes of golf in no matter that the “sky is falling” or not.

Who Let the Monkeys Out?

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After an eight year hiatus in which monkey references were considered racist when discussing  a President, liberal democrats see fit to release those monkeys again.  SNL Likens Trump to Monkey with Machine Gun.  So as long as it is now acceptable by Liberal Democratic Standards to refer to Presidents as monkeys, we’ll open a new category – “Monkeyshines”.

Here’s the first installment from our scrapbook of all things monkey.

Advice to Dems – Keep Calm and Blame Russia

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You know those crazy Dems, never let a good slogan, or a good crisis,  go to waste. 

So what is this Keep Calm and Carry On thing all about then?

The Ministry of Information was formed by the British Government as the department responsible for publicity and propaganda during the Second World War. In late 1939 after the outbreak of the war, the MOI was appointed by the British Government to design a number of morale boosting posters that would be displayed across the British Isles during the testing times that lay ahead.

With a bold coloured background, the posters were required to be similar in style and feature the symbolic crown of King George VI along with a simple yet effective font. The first two posters, ‘Your Courage, Your Cheerfulness, Your Resolution will Bring Us Victory’ and ‘Freedom is in Peril’ were produced by His Majesty’s Stationery Office (HMSO).

Memo To John Podesta – ‘Effing Suck It Up

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John Podesta is having a hissy fit in today’s WashingtonPost’s venting, “Something is deeply broken at the FBI“.  He spews,

The more we learn about the Russian plot to sabotage Hillary Clinton’s campaign and elect Donald Trump, and the failure of the FBI to adequately respond, the more shocking it gets. The former acting director of the CIA has called the Russian cyberattack “the political equivalent of 9/11.” Just as after the real 9/11, we need a robust, independent investigation into what went wrong inside the government and how to better protect our country in the future.

Well, John, compared to your previous job description and duties, it’s obvious you have way too much time on your hands. I suggest two possibilities to help you fill the empty hours: 1) Download ‘Tinfoil’ hat construction techniques and begin practicing, and 2) Start on that great American novel you have always yearned to write. Call it, “The Siberian Candidate – How Donald Trump with the Help of Vlad Putin and the KGB Stole the Election From My Boss, Hillary Clinton, Who was Entitled to be the First Woman President of the United States, but that misogynist Donald Trump Grabbed Her By the Emails (I mean Femails) and Kept Her (Us) From Our Destiny.”

Or,  you could just ‘effing suck it up, John.