Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Grinder Boys

Darwin notes with utmost glee that exposing one’s ‘onliest’ genomes to showers of molten metal sparks probably insures that one’s own personal contribution to the gene pool will indeed be cleansed.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Weatherman

Darwin is wont to point out to any would be Meteorologists doing live standup ‘remote weather broadcasts‘ is that one must always protect one’s ‘onliest’ genomes at all times.  Here’s an example of how not to protect the old genomes from snow.  And snow plows.  Heh.  Darwin says he never gets tired of watching stupidity cleansed from the gene pool.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Genius Jousters

Darwin hilariously observes that the genomes of these genius jousters are most certainly larger than their inadequately sized brains.  Which, unfortunately for those self-same genomes, may no longer be true as it is a fact that one’s genomes never retain their original size after a confrontation with a high speed moving object.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Kickboxing Before Coffee

Darwin is never surprised by the number of genomes that end up being crushed by coffee deprived morning kickboxers. He again, restates the rules for a.m. kickboxing. Make sure you are fully awake and in charge of your senses. Have your coffee. By all means, go down stairs for your bout. And finally, make sure your target is something softer, more padded, and less breakable than your ownlinest bare, naked foot.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Shovel Patrol

Darwin is quick to point out that when one intends a ‘practical joke’ to harm another one’s family genomes, quite often a reverse-reciprocating effect is experienced, provided great joy to all onlookers.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – The House That Darwin Built

Darwin reports that any fool with the cajones to make it to the third floor and back to ground zero, err…the ground floor successfully, will be awarded the ‘Golden Nuggets Award’ to memorialize their genomes as the most fortunate on the planet.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Vying For ‘Numbnut’ of the Year Award

Darwin points out that although the little balloon retriever’s genomes could be somewhat at risk, it’s Dad’s still immature genomes that are truly in harm’s way. Darwin guarantees, with utmost certainty, that as soon as Mom gets home and sees the Facebook video Dad posted about his day with Jr., Dad’s genomes will be residing in the back of his throat. Ack!! Urp!! Gluck!!

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Human ‘Hindenberg Disaster’

Darwin winces as he points out that genomes, ‘gas bags’, and an ignition source do not make for good companions.  Oh, the humanity….

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Playing Genome Fetch

Darwin in quick to point out that when one is training one’s dog to fetch balls, one should clearly distinguish the difference between genomes and balls, emphasizing that genomes are neither to be fetched or chewed upon.  “Goo boy, Nigel…”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Toasted Nuts Special

Darwin scratches his head and wonders how this whole vaping thing exploded (heh) onto the scene.  He points out that ‘fruity flavors’ and aromas only go so far because the minute the vapee smells that “Toasted Nuts and Curly Hairs” Special emanated from his onliest drawers he’s gonna be so done with the vapors.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Here’s your Lynyrd Skynyrd bonus – “That Smell”