Daily Darwin

Daily Darwin – Too ‘Tired’ To Go On

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Darwin chuckles, ironically, that having your genomes ‘flattened’ by a runaway tire is like getting hit by lightning, having a meteor fall on your head, or making a video that goes viral.  With the exception of perhaps, winning the lottery, Darwin notes that odds like that never work out well for the overall ‘health and happiness’ of your genomes.  Here’s the result of the ‘viral video’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N57hsxoegQ

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – No Passing Zone Violation

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Darwin sadly notes that when one’s genomes get ejected  from the game for a “No Passing Zone” violation, it’s usually a career ending foul.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Pole Vaulting Bulls

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Darwin notes that ‘pole vaulting’ bulls can be a daunting challenge, especially since it’s an angry moving target.  Yet some fools do risk their genomes trying it, much to Darwin’s satisfaction.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – AGW Thin Ice Tester

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Darwin expounds that when one puts explosive fireworks, thin ice, and a boy together, it’s usually a recipe to either freeze or explode that self-same boy’s genomes.  In this case, we have the interesting exception.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – That Retarded Genome

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Darwin understands that it is no longer Politically Correct to use the term retard, but feels that the term is sometimes justified when used to point out how inappropriate use of equipment (i.e. trying for a wheelie on a snow machine in the grass, no less) very often results in crushed genomes leading to retardation of the retard after the fact.  Very scientific.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Keeping Your Head

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Darwin gives this explicit advice, “Sometimes to keep your genomes, you have to keep your head”. How sage, Mr. Darwin.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Squashed Like a Bug

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Darwin notes that the truck driver here violated the First Rule of Trucking, namely “squash the ‘effing deer”.  Or put another way, trying to dodge a obstacle in a ‘big rig’ never works out well for someone’s genomes.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – The Long Jump Genome

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Darwin states without equivocation that some genomes just jump higher and further than others.  Otherwise, splash goes the family heirlooms.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – ISIS Rocket Suppository

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Darwin is fond of saying that there is nothing like a ‘rocket suppository’ in the morning to get a terrorist’s genomes moving.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Rocket Man

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Darwin dutifully writes that strapping a rocket to ones ass and then expecting a good outcome for one’s genomes has always been a delusion.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Real Fireworks

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Darwin posits that when one consumes a 6 pack of Colt45 Talls and then stumbles over to the Reservation Smoke and Fireworks Shop, endeavoring to purchase a firework called “Giant Balls-Buster”, that same proud owner should not allow that same “Giant Balls-Buster” firework anywhere near his very own genomes.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Squandered Their Luck

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Darwin says notably, that some genomes are destined to use all of their good fortune in one glorious moment. After that, it’ll be a paper cut or an ingrown toenail that gets ’em.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated