rainman

Trump Channels Mattis

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Here’s a few more delightful Mattisisms.

“I don’t lose any sleep at night over the potential for failure. I cannot even spell the word.”

“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

“The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears.”

“No war is over until the enemy says it’s over. We may think it over, we may declare it over, but in fact, the enemy gets a vote.”

“There is nothing better than getting shot at and missed. It’s really great.”

“I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.”

“Demonstrate to the world there is ‘No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy’ than a U.S. Marine.”

Gen. James “Mad Dog” Mattis

Daily Darwin – The “On the Scene, On the Story” Genome

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Darwin is ever amazed by the audacious risk of genomes that some live “On the Scene” reporters will go to in order to get “the Story”. Here’s one Darwin Award candidate practicing his ‘bus brush-back’ skills. Close call, eh? Just wait until he graduates to the ‘human lightning chaser’ reporting category–and actually catches some lightnings.

#TDS – Trump Derangement Syndrome

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#TDS-Trump Derangement Syndrome will soon be proudly included in the New Sixth Edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s standard reference, “The Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)”. Also included will be a new revised “Goldwater Rule” for remote diagnosis without examination.  It will no longer be a violation of ethics for psychiatrists to give a professional opinion about public figures they have not examined in person, and from whom they have not obtained consent to discuss their mental health in public statements as long as that person is named Donald J. Trump.

**AlmostFakeNews

Liberal Solution To Arson

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Ban Hi-capacity automatic matches. It’s obvious.  But, Liberals.  Don’t ignore the “Law of Unintended Consequences”….how are you gonna light your bongs?  Flint and steel?  Friction Bow and Stick?  Magnifying Glass?  Will all purchases of Hi-cap Automatic Matches require a Federal Background Check and a mandatory Three Day Waiting Period?  Heh.