The world was shocked today as former President Donald Trump was arrested and booked into jail. In a stunning turn of events, Trump was apprehended by the FBI while playing golf at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. When asked for comment, Trump reportedly replied, “I always said I was a great golfer, and now I’ve got the record for the most handcuffs on a golf course.”
As news of the arrest spread, crowds gathered outside the jail, chanting “Lock him up!” and “Orange is the new black!” One protester held a sign that read, “Even the walls of his cell will be better decorated than the White House.” Meanwhile, Trump’s lawyers insisted that he was innocent and claimed that the charges were politically motivated. In a statement, they said, “This is nothing more than a witch hunt by the radical left. We will fight these baseless allegations with every tweet we’ve got.”
Inside the jail, Trump reportedly struggled to adjust to his new surroundings. He complained about the lack of gold fixtures in his cell and demanded to speak to the warden’s supervisor. When he was told that he would be served a standard prison meal, consisting of bologna sandwiches and fruit cocktail, he exclaimed, “I’ve had better food at McDonald’s! This is an outrage!” However, his mood improved when he realized that he would be getting a new wardrobe, consisting of an orange jumpsuit and matching shoes.
New COVID origins data point to raccoon dogs in China market
Li’l Anthony ‘Raccoon Dog’ Fauci
BEIJING (AP) — Genetic material collected at a Chinese market near where the first human cases of COVID-19 were identified show raccoon dog DNA comingled with the virus, adding evidence to the theory that the virus originated from animals, not from a lab, international experts say.
“These data do not provide a definitive answer to how the pandemic began, but every piece of data is important to moving us closer to that answer,” World Health Organization Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus said Friday.
How the coronavirus emerged remains unclear. Many scientists believe it most likely jumped from animals to people, as many other viruses have in the past, at a wildlife market in Wuhan, China. But Wuhan is home to several labs involved in collecting and studying coronaviruses, fueling theories scientists say are plausible that the virus may have leaked from one.
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The world was shocked today as former President Donald Trump was arrested and booked into jail. In a stunning turn of events, Trump was apprehended by the FBI while playing golf at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. When asked for comment, Trump reportedly replied, “I always said I was a great golfer, and now I’ve got the record for the most handcuffs on a golf course.”
